Like a lot of people I watch American Chopper... I don't know why...

The arguments are always the same, the bikes are always the same, the premise is always the same... I love choppers but these guys are a joke... HERE'S WHY:

REASONS I HATE AMERICAN CHOPPER AND THE TEUTELS:

1. DEADLINES ...ya ever notice these guys are NEVER on time? ...and that's for bikes they are filming for TV, imagine if you actually wanted to buy one... How long do you think Joe Schmoe's bike would take?

2. VENDORS ...it's amazing how they say they make "custom bikes" but most of the bike is manufactured by outside vendors! Frame from this one, fenders from that one... jeez, I could buy a chopper kit and come up with the same thing for WAY LESS money... Ever see what THEY want for even the most standard bikes? Your balls would fall off!

3. FINESSE ...meaning "they have none"! Most of the bikes don't really fit together well, there's a lot of "hammer it until it fits" and "just get it on there" type of fabrication... not cool for a high dollar item

4. USABILITY ...Paul Jr, innovative designer ...knows nothing about "function versus form"... That upright exhaust may look cool, but wait til you pass out from the fumes... or when your seat catches fire from the pipes that run under it, or when your oil just doesn't do it's job because of excess heat, maybe you'll talk to a REAL builder...

5. FALSE IMPRESSIONS ...here's Jr and Sr riding around in matching Hummers, when they aren't in the Prowler or the custom Mustang, bashing cars around like toys... But somehow Mikey can only ride around in some piece of crap?

6. PATIENCE ...ya know that guy Justin that was doing their painting? He was THE KING! His work ruled! Yet the dimwits of OCC figured he wasn't good enough to work with them, because he didn't work to their f'ed up schedule... He was an incredible artist and worked faster than anyone I've seen, but these jackasses who are getting more for a bike than a house expect a guy who is making peanuts to put out as much as them? sorry, doesn't work that way...

7. BOLT ON TECHNOLOGY ...Seems to me, all of the bikes are the same except this one has a wrench welded on, and that on has a welder bolted on, and the other one has a spider web, oh wait, so does that other one... jeez, guys, learn some new tricks...

Anyone else hate these dicks besides me? I'll watch them, but the truth is I despise them, them and their whole f#@%ing family... (thanks to the Senator from the GodfatherII for the classic line!)